Tag Archives: Stacy

What Not to Wear (Yeah, it is mostly a chick post today, fellas)

My daughter is 17 with a runner’s body and beautiful.  When we go shopping together, she can put anything on and it looks fabulous!  Not a bulge or a pucker anywhere.  She loves to shop while I absolutely HATE it!!!  I have to wonder if I would like it more if the worst thing I had to worry about was price … and whether they had a size small enough for me.  Geez!  Even if it is a little too big, skinny chicks can throw on a belt!

Dressing my body comes with a variety of problems.  First, I have a weird shape and it is super hard to fit.  I weigh more than I would like to.  I dream of being able to fit into all of those cute clothes and I have a hard time spending money on something that fits my current size when “I’m gonna lose this weight, soon.”   I end up buying shoes or scarves because they always fit!  And then there is the problem that I am “fashion ignorant” and have no idea how to put together an outfit that looks current or trendy. Haley will often steer me right out of a store for looking at clothing she insists is “hideous, Mother!”

It isn’t that I don’t have any clothes at home.  But I will put on something in the morning and leave the house thinking I look all like this:


And then I will walk by a mirror or a storefront window on my way to lunch downtown and catch a glimpse of myself looking more like this:

who wore it best

 (Photo courtesy of Joan Anthony from her personal “people of Walmart” collection.)

So the other day, Haley asked me, “Mom, would you be mad if I nominated you for “What Not to Wear”?”  I didn’t even have to think about it!  How could I be mad if I got to go to New York, get $5k for all new clothes, get to hang out with Clinton and Stacy for 2 days, have my hair done by Ted, and get makeup tips from Carmindy?  Are you kidding?  But then, I thought about that 360* mirror.  I think my brain might implode.   I know they would also make me throw away all my comfy shoes like my Converse and my Tom’s in exchange for shoes that make my legs look good but make my feet cry for mercy.   And then Haley reminded me that they would make me throw away all of my Batman shirts.  Eek gads!  That is harsh!  I told her I could always go buy new ones. Or maybe with my $5k, I could buy these babies:

English: Converse high fashion, Paris, Decembe...

English: Converse high fashion, Paris, December, 2003 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Old Camelknees talked about that 360* mirror in  James 1:22-24.  No really, he did.  He said that if you go into that 360, get made over into a put-together fashion diva, and then turn around and pull the nerdy superhero shirts and throwback Converse out of the trash bin, you are selling yourself short … doing a disservice to Stacy, Clinton, Ted, and Carmindy who invested the time and effort into your transformation.  Actually, what he said was that if we are only hearers of God’s Word and we don’t put it into action, we are just like the person who goes into the 360 and then refuses to shop by the rules or let Ted cut that hair!  There is no change and no evidence we were ever on the show.

I am not a fan of people who come across as “holier-than-thou” just because they go to church.  That “goody-2-shoes” demeanor is not evidence of what a good Christian you are. What is wrong with being vulnerable, with admitting that even though you follow Christ that you don’t have it all together,with acknowledging that you screw up sometimes (all the time), with letting others see your faults?  After all, that is what the Great Teacher came to share with us…humility.  Jesus didn’t come to Earth wearing a crown and demanding that people bow down to him because he was perfect … royalty.  Nope.  He humbled himself.  He hung out with the unpopular people.  He put everyone before himself … everyone.  He was an unselfish servant.  No one he helped had anything to offer him.  They had no power, no material wealth, nothing of value to contribute except to pass on the compassion they received from him.


Just like it is easier to put on a tshirt, jeans, and flip-flops, it is easier to be nice to people who have something to offer us.  It is easier to do good when there is a chance you might get some credit for it.  When I look in that mirror at the reveal, I want to see this passage above reflected in that mirror.  I would hope that Jesus would trim off a few inches of that selfish ambition and “work a little magic” in my attitude toward people who have nothing material to offer to me.  And I want to hear somebody say, “Shut the front door!” when they see the transformation.

For the record, it would not hurt my feelings one bit if my friends and family set me up to look like an idiot on “What Not to Wear”.  Just be gentle with that hidden camera crap!